Separation

But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear."
Isaiah 59:2 (NIV)

I did it again! I let something my husband said escalate, turning me into a selfish, "you hurt my feelings" nincompoop. It wasn't that he yelled, insulted, or called me horrible names. All the same, my ego took over and I got mad.

It was late afternoon when we decided to rearrange furniture--something most married folks probably shouldn't do in the first place. On his knees, my husband pushed a mammoth-sized television set, inch by inch, across the family room floor to a third location. I knew he was tired, not to mention had rug burns on his knees. With little compassion, I pressed, "It needs to go back more into the corner."

I can't recall his exact response, but his annoyed tone matched my frustrated attitude. In fitting kindergarten-ish, "I'm taking my ball and going home" style, I glared at him; and without a word, stomped out of the room.

The evening could have been pleasant for the two of us as our children were out with friends. But, I chose to grunt in response to his attempts at a conversation, slam pots and pans as I prepared dinner, and display the most disgruntled expression I could muster. Later, I sealed our evening's fate with what every decent marriage counselor cautions against--I went to bed angry.

It was the dead of night when I awoke to an unmistakable nudge. Hearing the familiar, steady snoring sound coming from the opposite side of the bed, I realized my husband hadn't poked me. No. It was my heart. I knew better than to ignore the prod and quietly slid my legs over the edge of the mattress, making my way to my "quiet place."

Sitting in the darkness of the early morning hours, a gentle voice in my heart probed, "Anything you'd like to share?" With a sigh I responded, "Yes, Lord. I'm so dumb. I let a ridiculous little comment get to me. I got angry. I became mean. But, you know what? I'm frustrated at how I keep making the same mistake. Quite frankly, I'm rather tired of confessing this sin."

Immediately, a disturbing silence seemed to engulf my entire being.

In that deafening sound of nothingness, my thoughts took me to the Old Testament accounts of Cain and of King David. Turning on a lamp, I reached for my Bible, flipped the pages to Genesis 4, and read, "And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him." Turning the pages further to 2 Samuel 11, I read King David's instructions, "Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die."

Both accounts record grievous, sinful acts. Both men suffer consequences from their actions. Yet, where David is ultimately restored in his relationship with God, Cain is banished. Why is David forgiven and Cain not?

The answer lies in their repentance. David confesses, "I have sinned against the LORD." Cain doesn't. In his pride, Cain is unwilling to admit his sin. What's more, in his rebellion against God, he is removed from God's presence.

As I sat in the quiet of the night, I relived three distressing events involving personal separation. Twenty heart-wrenching minutes when the whereabouts of our then four-year old son were unknown. The clanking sound of metal hitting metal as doors close and an ambulance drives away with our young daughter inside, who had fallen from a horse. My ears straining for the sound of an opening garage door as my uncharacteristically late husband is long overdue returning home from work.

Separation. As these episodes raced through my mind, they stirred up the pain I felt being separated from those I hold dear and the joy I experienced being reunited.

What dread an alienated Cain must have endured as he "went out from the LORD's presence." What amazing delight a restored David experienced as he wrote, "Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him." (Psalm 32)

Sin separates. Repentance reunites. As for me, I never want to be outside our loving God's presence. With humility, I immediately confessed to God my ugliness, mean-spirited attitude, and arrogant heart. In the morning, I also asked my husband for his forgiveness; who in turn, asked me to forgive him for his actions. What a wonderful restoration of relationships!

Dear friend, are you experiencing separation because of unconfessed sin? If so, our gracious, Heavenly Father loves you with an everlasting love. He longs for you to come into His warm embrace and delight in the joy of confession and forgiveness of sins. Won't you come today?

Blessings, dear friend.
Faithfully Following